Triangle
by CrazyStarfinder
Summary: Mulder is stuck in the past on a ship with Nazi's, Slave's obsessed with cigars and men called Picard. While Scully trys desperately to alter scripts and get her own show.


**Triangle**

Author: Kelly Brake

Disclaimer: All characters and episodes belong to Chris Carter and 1013 productions. I am just borrowing them!

Mulder is stuck in the past on a ship with Nazi's, Slave's obsessed with cigars and men called Picard. While Scully trys desperately to alter scripts and get her own show.

Present

Mulder: Floating, floating in the water...hey wait a minute I'm not supposed to be awake.

----

1930's

German Guy 1: Look at this, white American trash.  
German Guy 2: You can't possibly know that, he hasn't spoke yet.  
Mulder: Hey...get your hands off me. My name is Fox Mulder; I'm with the FBI.  
German Guy 2: You were right, I owe you 200 deutch marks.  
Mulder: Actually, it's euros nowadays.  
German Guy 1: Shut it, you!  
Mulder: Okay, you may continue kicking me.

---  
Present

Scully: Oh great, I finally get rid of Mulder for the episode and then you guys have to turn up. What devastating news have you three got for me today?  
Langly: Mulder's gone missing.  
Scully: I see  
Byers: And he's in the Bermuda Triangle  
Scully: Yeah  
Frohike: He's missing, in the Bermuda Triangle and he's wearing your underwear.  
Scully: THAT'S IT. We have to go find him, why the little...

---

1930's

Mulder: The SS Anne? Yes, I finally found it...wow, 1930. No Way!  
Nazi Spender: Vot are you doing here?  
Mulder: No way, I mean, would you be interested in some underwear.

---

Present

Scully: Listen up, Kersh.  
Kersh: Agent Scully, did you really have to kick the door down?  
Scully: It's in the script.  
Kersh: I don't see it here...  
Scully: Did I forget to mention it's a new script.  
Kersh: Who wrote it?  
Scully: Me, but that's beside the point... checks script okay here we go. I need your help, I need these co-ordinates and I need them last week.  
Kersh: Weren't you driving around last week?  
Scully: No that was Mulder, if your gonna ask stupid questions. I shall take my business elsewhere.

Scully: Skinner, I need your help and I don't care...  
Skinner: I'm sorry I can't help you, my hands are tied on this.  
Scully: You always say that  
Skinner: But they really are tied...  
Scully: Save it.  
Skinner: Still I do get that kiss?  
Scully: Two words guess what they are!

Scully: Agent Spender, oh buddy, oh pal!

----

1930's

Mulder: This is too much. Being forced to see the CSM and Spender in Nazi uniform...thank god there's a future.  
Nazi CSM: I heard that, throw him in the boiler room so we can discover his secrets.

Slave 1: Yo man, how's it going.  
Mulder: What is this?  
English man 1: how's it looking?  
Slave 1: You'd better shut up or I'll knock you into the middle of next week.  
English 1: Just try it, mate.  
Slave Kersh: Here's the plan, we're gonna stop by Cuba, pick up some fine cigars then back home.  
Mulder: Home?  
Slave Kersh: Jamaica!  
English 2: No England...to pick up...  
English 1: Don't say it...  
English 2: some...  
English 1: I'll shoot you...  
English 2: Earl Grey Tea  
Picard: You rang?

Mulder: What are you doing?  
Slave Kersh: Overriding her...we're going home!  
Mulder: You can't, you have to go back.  
Slave Kersh: Says who, you?  
Mulder: well...  
Picard: No me, I am the captain. Helm, lay in a course, warp 3, and engage.  
Mulder: Hop it you, this is my show not the...

----

present

Scully: The Scully show, it'll be great.  
Frohike: Okay but how does this help Mulder?  
Byers: Look a ship...  
Langly: Came out of nowhere.  
Scully: Wonderful we found the ship, enough about the ship, more about my show.

----

1930's

Mulder: Scully, there you are?  
30's Scully: Excuse me, get your mucky Nazi paws off me.  
Mulder: I just don't under...  
Nazi CSM: Hey kids, I'm gonna start-shooting people at random now until I get answers. Any volunteers.

English men: Be very quiet, the Nazi's don't know we're gonna attack...

Mulder: Oh look a fight, how convient. Let's escape.  
30's: I guess I have no choice but to run off with a weird guy I don't even know and thinks I'm someone else. Why am I suddenly getting deja vu?

----

Present

Scully: Langly, Byers, Frohike...where are you guys?  
Frohike: man, she'll never find us here on the bridge.  
Byers: true  
Langly: She should know better than not to challenge the Lone Gunmen at a game of hide and seek.

----

1930's

Mulder: okay we've ran around and I've come up with a plan.  
30's Scully: Great...  
Mulder: And the futures calling to me...  
30's Scully: Huh?  
Future: Fox, it's time to come back, Fox.  
30's Scully: All I have to do is turn the ship around and marge is your mother?  
Mulder: Pretty much. Surf's up. Splash  
30's Scully: Good riddance.

----

Present

Scully: He's awake, how are you Mulder?  
Mulder: You're floating...  
Scully: Excuse me?  
Mulder: Like a cloud...in the air.  
Frohike: What drugs is he on?  
Langly: I want some...on IV...now!  
Mulder: You were there Scully and you...  
Skinner: Yeah me and my dog Queequeg.  
Scully: Hey he was my dog...and he got eaten, it was very distressing...  
Skinner: Who cares!

Mulder: You saved the world.  
Scully: Really?  
Mulder: You're a life saver.  
Scully: Aww shucks, thanks.  
Mulder: Scully...I love you.  
Scully: Later

Scully runs into the nearest wall and knocks herself out.


End file.
